Brooklyn Nine-Nine Is Back (And Here's What They've Taught Us)

12 need-to-knows.

In very good news, the all-new season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine will premier before the week is out. And it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for (Nine-Nine was – much to the financial gain of our therapist – axed and then rescued within a stress-ball-destroying 31 hours).

This show has given us so much. Words like ‘noice’ and ‘toight’ now feature in our regular vocab, along with plenty of inspo for the title of, ahem, certain tapes.

We’ve been through a lot with this squad. And while we’re not about to drop any spoilers (You. Are. Welcome.), with the long-awaited, much anticipated new season about to land, we look back at all that we’ve learnt from our favourite PD.

Thanks to Getty Images

How to maintain your privacy

Little is known about Rosa Diaz - the leather jacket-wearing dark horse of the squad. Her cards are played close to her chest. Even when it comes to where she lives...

Rosa Diaz: “We can go to my apartment. No one knows where I live.”
Sergeant Jeffords: “I thought you had Amy over there once.”
Rosa Diaz: “Yeah, it was fun. I moved the next day.”

Communication basics

The all-singing, all-dancing Gina Linetti makes the appropriate channels of conversation clear:

Gina Linetti: “It's Gina's phone. Leave me a voicemail. I won't check it 'cause it's not 1993.”

On expressing yourself

Gina Linetti: "The English language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts, so I'm incorporating emojis into my speech to better express myself. Winky face."

The importance of a strong grammar game

Amy Santiago – the binder-loving, alphabetising now-sergeant – knows her way around syntax. On an undercover op, she even solicited drugs using perfect grammar. "May I have some cocaine?" Another time, she was disappointed by the comma placement on a death threat...

Amy Santiago: “And worst of all, they didn't put the comma between die and pig.”

How to deal with management

To take a line from Fleetwood Mac: go your own way.

Jake Peralta: "Sarge, with all due respect, I am gonna completely ignore everything you just said."

How to budget

Jake Peralta: “Hello good sir, I would like your finest bottle of wine, please.”
Clerk: “That will be $1,600.”
Jake Peralta: “Great, I'd like your $8-Est bottle of wine, please.”

Thanks to Getty Images

How to bargain with children - and win

Sergeant Jeffords: “I just negotiated my baby girls down from a pony to a hamster. Little fools.”

How to pass the time at work

Working hard or hardly working? So long as there is some semblance of presence, you should be AOK.

Hitchcock: “All that investigating was exhausting. Besides, we did our share of that in the 70s and 80s. Now, we like to do paperwork in our comfy chairs.”
Scully: “If we're away from our desks for too long, they'll update our computers and we'll lose Minesweeper.”

How to express your anger

Whenever the team are in need of a fake perp, there’s only one person they turn to.

Boyle: “I need someone to fill out a lineup. Will you be Scary Terry?”
Sergeant Jeffords: “Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.”
Sergeant Jeffords (as Scary Terry): “THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG! I'M GONNA MISS THE FARMER'S MARKET!”

How to set boundaries between your ‘work’ and your 'personal'*

Jake Peralta: “Rosa has this dumb rule about not mixing work with personal stuff.”
Amy Santiago: “That's actually not a bad policy. I once gave my aunt a jaywalking ticket and things really deteriorated between us.”

*For the purpose of proving this point, please choose to ignore the interpersonal relationships currently in play.

How to get the most from your insurance policy

When Gina’s place is robbed, the squad lends a hand...

Rosa Diaz: “Can you estimate the value of everything that was taken?
Gina Linetti: “Emotionally? $700 million.”

On creating a legacy

Pretty much everything that has ever come out of Gina Linetti’s mouth makes the grade on this point, but here’s the how-to:

Gina Linetti: “If I die, turn my Tweets into a book!”

So, call in sick now to binge-watch and catch up.