Why Doesn’t Anyone Write Thank You Notes Anymore?

“Thank you for the thank you note.”

“Dear Kylie, Just wanted to drop you a short note in advance of the concert in Dublin I am really looking forward to it. Am a huge fan! I understand you are staying in the Merrion Hotel which is just across the street from my office in Government Buildings. If you like, I’d love to welcome you to Ireland personally.”

This is the note the Irish PM, Leo V Taoiseach, dropped to Miss Minogue on the eve of her tour late last year. It’s nice, no? It’s a reaching out, with a thanks.

On social, we share everything. What we’re having for breakfast. Where we’ve been on holidays (even though we’re really at our desk). Any and all passing thoughts.

A thank you note, though, or a fan notes, or even just a ‘Wish your were here’ postcard is a connection. Between you and them. And not you and them and everyone else.

It’s old fashioned, sure, but there’s a thrill in getting something that’s not your 145th e-newsletter for the day in your inbox. Or better still, picking it up from your letterbox IRL.

via Instagram @kinfolkmagazine

But, why did they stop?

“When I was growing up, and until about a few years ago, that I would want to say thank you to someone, I would want to praise them, I would want to take in their praise of me and I'd just stop it,” author, therapist and coach Dr Laura Trice told a TedX audience.

“And I asked myself, why? I felt shy, I felt embarrassed. And then my question became, am I the only one who does this?”

The answer? No.

Dr Trice is far from alone.

How many times have you wanted to spontaneously reach out and thank someone who made your world a better place? And, how many times did you do it?

There’s a lot to be said for a daily practice of gratitude. Studies have shown it reduces stress, ups your resilience to adversity, improves your relationships and can even contribute to actually getting a good night’s sleep.

Instead, then, of a daily thank you under your breath, why not put pen to paper? You’lll be sure to make someone’s day. Just like Taoiseach made Kylie’s.

Want to go old school? Here are some tips…

Be timely. As soon as you feel the need to write the note, do it. Instant gratification, the old fashioned way.
Draft your message first. This will help you refine what it is you want to say. Also: typos.
Hand-write where you can. It always feels more personal.
Try a postcard. We’re suckers for them. Plus, they’re way better than a DM.