For model and poet Emma Balfour, motherhood is all about embracing anything (and everything) that comes your way. “Being a mother really teaches you to relinquish control, which is amazing,” she says. It’s this openness to change that serves as Balfour’s north star – from time spent as a travelling performer with her own mother, to her reign as a 90s supermodel alongside Kate Moss, to the slower-paced lifestyle she relishes today with her partner Andrew and sons Bruno and Elliot. We caught up with Balfour between looks on set for our Mother’s Day campaign, to chat all things motherhood and the identity metamorphoses that come along with it.
Prior to having kids, what did you think motherhood would be like?
“At the time, I didn’t have very many friends who had kids, so I didn't have a clear idea at all. I definitely thought it would be easier than it was, and I didn’t realise just how much things would completely change. When you look at parenthood beforehand it can seem really terrifying, but then you find out it’s actually really fabulous.”
What’s something that surprised you about motherhood?
“That having kids knocks you out of your selfishness. You (kind of, finally) become a grown-up when you have kids, and when you have this hideously monstrous responsibility that seems terrifying at first – you grow up quickly. That’s the hope, anyway. I feel like I did.”
You grew up travelling around Australia and abroad, performing with your mother as part of a circus troupe. Amid the trapeze and the tightrope, what parenting pearls of wisdom did you learn from her along the way?
“Travelling with mum taught me to be a lot more flexible and resilient, and that things change and you’ve got to be okay with it. That really prepares you for motherhood, because motherhood can be quite unpredictable, nothing goes to plan and you have to be cool with that.”
“She also taught me that if I’m going to do something, to really do it. If I’m going to eat something, to enjoy it. That there is no point going into things half-arsed.”
What life advice do you hope to pass on to your own kids?
“How to not take the world too personally, and how to have a solid sense of themselves. That’s something that Mum taught me and it’s something I hope they’ve cottoned on to around our house. I think if you can have your mum telling you to ‘just be you’ and be alright with that, that’s pretty important.”
Now that your sons are both in their teens, do you feel your identity as a mother shifting once more?
“Yes, it definitely has. Them being teenagers is more labour-intensive than I imagined it would be, especially through the pandemic. It’s different now as well, as they are their own people and it’s a bit more like a sharehouse at home. While it’s a little less intense physically, it’s just as intense emotionally.”
What is your biggest achievement as a mother?
“I used to joke about ‘getting them through alive’ *laughs*. The fact that they’re good kids and we still like each other is massive – but that’s not just from me, that’s them as well. That they’re both confident enough to be following their own paths now, which is great.”
How have your creative pursuits been influenced by motherhood?
“Being a mother has hugely influenced all the things that I still do. I can’t imagine my world without them, and anything I do not being influenced by them in every way. Would they think this is stupid? Would they think this is good? What do I want to show them? What do I want to teach them? As a mother, It’s all ingrained in everything you do.”
You’ve always been an advocate for more sustainable living. How do you instil this passion into your parenting?
“Not wasting, recycling, solar power – it’s just how we do things at home. While still being kids and still wanting everything, the boys hate waste and are aware of the cost in every which way. Even if it’s just one little thing that you do, it just all makes such a massive difference – I’m glad that they understand that.”
What does self-care mean to you?
“It looks like a horse. I ride everyday, that’s what I do to remain sane – and it keeps everyone else sane as well *laughs*. Everyone’s got to find what they need to exist in the world, and that’s mine. Shovelling shit, doing feeds and all that – it keeps you just that little bit tired in the evening, and I love every bit of it.”
What does your typical morning routine look like?
“I get up, make myself a coffee and a piece of toast, and then shower. I don’t have a complicated beauty routine – facial wash in the shower, and sunscreen always. Nice and simple. I’ll wash my hair around twice a week. My hair’s normally pulled back, thanks to the (ugly) riding helmet!”
When not on your horse or on set, what’s your go-to outfit?
“It’s absolutely jeans and a t-shirt. It’s become (embarrassingly) a uniform now. I’ve got a pretty good t-shirt collection, and I go through favourites.”
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