Matty J Tells Us What Fatherhood’s REALLY Like

Warts and all moments and competing with The Wiggles.

We might know Matty J as Australia’s funny man, as light on his feet on Dancing With The Stars and stealing hearts as the former Bachelor (where he met fiancé, Laura Byrne) but we wanted to talk to him about his biggest job yet – being a dad to his girls Marlie-Mae and Lola.

Go on, spill the beans, what’s been the grossest parenting moment so far?
“Nappy changes easily take the cake here – they've provided me with many moments I’d rather forget. One in particular that stands out is when Laura and I were out to dinner with Marlie-Mae. I’d forgotten to bring spare nappies but we were just down the road from home so I decided to risk it. Whilst we were sitting at the table I noticed an unmistakable smell coming from our toddler. I picked her up and pulled back her pants and in the process smeared my hand into the biggest poonami I’d ever seen. Exactly what you want to do right before your mains arrive.”

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And on the flip side, what part of fatherhood has made your heart burst?
“There’s so many parts! All it takes is a little smile and my heart melts. But there’s absolutely nothing better in this world than a cuddle. It mostly happens right after the girls have woken up (or when they want to wipe their hands on my back) but every so often Marlie-Mae will just come over and randomly ask for a cuddle and it’s these moments that make parenting so special.”

What signature ‘dad’ traits have you picked up?
“I’m now at a point in my dad-life where I’m obsessed with grass – nothing makes me more excited than a well manicured lawn. Also, give me a set of tongs, a BBQ and a few slabs of meat and I’m in heaven. And lastly, any situation where I’m required to use a power tool is a really exciting moment for me.”

Give us the lowdown – what essential things do new dads genuinely need in the first few weeks?
“If I didn’t have Laura I’d be absolutely screwed. But in addition to that you need to make sure you get your hands on a good swaddle. It’s the difference between a baby getting a good night's sleep and keeping you awake all night. Also never underestimate the need for a great zip up onesie – they’re the easiest to get on and off when your baby is squirming all over the place.”

What’s your favourite way to spend dad-daughter time with the girls?
“I CANNOT wait for summer to roll around again. Nothing beats spending the morning down at the beach. Marlie-Mae is the biggest ocean lover and Lola will be old enough to enjoy her first little frolic in the water.”

...and what’s their favourite way to spend dad-daughter time?
“Marlie-Mae is currently obsessed with hide and seek – she could literally play it for hours and hours. The only problem is that her hiding ability is limited to partially covering her eyes and if she can’t find me within 30 seconds, she gives up. Lola’s at an age where she’s just started solids and nothing makes her happier than smashing a bowl of rice porridge with puree blueberries.”

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What qualities have they inherited from you?
“Porridge is one of my favourite meals so I’m assuming Lola got this from me. Marlie-Mae is extremely stubborn and it pains me to admit that she’s inherited this trait from me. She’s also a big softie and I'm a pretty sensitive guy so this is something else I can claim. So, fondness of porridge, stubbornness and being sensitive – I’m passing on the goods!”

What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learnt so far from this wild ride of being a dad?
“I know this is going to sound super cliché but … time really does go by so fast – try and enjoy it as much as you can. As simple as this message is, it’s not always easy. Majority of your time as a new parent is spent in an exhausted sleep deprived haze as you try and juggle work, potty training, nap times and cooking dinner. But before you know it, your new-born will be taking their first steps, waving you goodbye at daycare with a smile on their face and then stealing your keys to drive to the movies with their boyfriend.”

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Life’s not all TV cameras and photoshoots. What’s the most humbling, bring-you-back-down-to-earth thing Marley’s said to you?
“I was watching back an episode of Dancing With The Stars the night after I performed the samba (one of my favourite routines). I was trying to show Marlie-Mae her Daddy on TV but she had a full blown tantrum because I’d taken Emma Wiggle off the TV. As much as I thought my dancing was impressive, I’m absolutely no match for The Wiggles.”

The big secret: what one thing don’t they tell you, that all new dads need to know?
“Night times are easily the hardest – getting up at 3am for a bottle feed will challenge anyone! However, every now and then we get a rogue night where the kids sleep through – when this happens NEVER admit to your partner that you didn’t have to wake up. In the morning, always pretend that you had to get up once or twice whilst they enjoyed an uninterrupted night. Laura, if you’re reading this, there’s absolutely no truth to this secret.”

Speaking of the lovely Laura, she regularly refers to you as a DILF – how do you keep carrying the hot dad torch??
“Forget the gym, the most important thing to remember for any dad wanting to appear more attractive to their partner is housework. It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing or look like, if I’ve done the washing, cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed the floor, she can’t keep her hands off me.”